Sunday, 19 September 2010

"Behold my mighty chest!" - A look at celebrity action figures

Action figures based on celebrities in films are guilty of two things:
1) Crazy proportioned bodies. Often they make these guys into super beefcakes.
2) Crazy faces. Either they look nothing like the actor at all or just do something rather strange and disturbing with their face.

Here's a choice few:

Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park and Independence Day
Who would have though Jeff Goldblum would have action figures. They both come with classic toy line staple of accessories that were not in the film, hence the massive cannons he has with both figures. His Independence Day toy is also buff beyond belief; his torso is huge and you can practically see veins popping off his muscular arms and hands.

Bob Hoskins in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? / Super Mario Bros. The Movie
Another surprise actor to have multiple action figures. Now Bob Hoskins is great but his Roger Rabbit toy is possibly the most boring thing ever. Now I see why they ofter packed these toys with giant missile launchers and stuff that wasn't in the film. It's because if you don't you get a man in a hat in a box. Play time! The Mario one is better but not by much. These guys look like dead eyed, squat, hunch backs but that's still better than the Eddie Valiant toy.

Mark Hamill in Star Wars
The change in style from the original 70's/80's toys to the ones that came out in the late 90's before the release of the new films is pretty shocking. The original toys get his fresh faced farm boy look down pretty well. With the new one I think he is feeling the steroids much more that his is the force... this guy is stacked! Look at how toned his legs are!

Raoul Julia in Street Fighter
Another fail in the big, over all mega-fail that was the live action Street Fighter film. Looks pretty M. Bison-esque but doesn't look like Raoul Julia.

Sly Stallone in Rambo
Oh my God, look at the size of his head! It's nearly the same size as his torso!

Robin Williams in Hook
Massive chest and shoulders alert. I'm pretty sure Robin Williams has never been buff and that he never had a rocket launching jet pack in the film. Also, they really haven't tried with the face.

Warren Beatty and Al Pachino in Dick Tracy
The faces on these are pretty good although they all have big pouting fish lips. What's more disturbing is they way they all look like the have rickets in their legs.

John Goodman in The Flintstones Movie
This is a good representation of John Goodman but those eyes and that smile are just creeping me out. Also, Flintstones The Movie toys don't strike me as being the most 'action' of figures. What games are you going to play with squat little versions of John Goodman, Rick Moranis and Rosie O'Donnell? It's no He-Man is it?

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